'Hillsborough' changed the way I work

Hillsborough affected me more than I ever imagined it possible for anything or anyone to ever affect me.

I remember I was involved in a workshop miles away from Liverpool twelve months after the disaster and during it I was speaking with someone about Hillsborough. It was the first time I had spoken about it with strangers and the guy I was chatting to came towards me with an arm of sympathy and I just broke down in front of forty people.

I wasn't even at Hillsborough and I didn't suffer but still I was sobbing uncontrollably. It was the most amazing experience of my life. I was tired and I'd been working hard and yet it was amazing how it could get to you like that. God knows how those people who had been in the pens were feeling.

Somebody who I have nothing but contempt for once implied that I established my name and reputation on the back of Hillsborough. After 'Cracker' I could have worked anywhere. I could have gone to America and had money coming out of my ears. That applied to everyone who worked on the programme. Everybody worked for a pittance on 'Hillsborough' and certainly for half the money they could have got anywhere else because Granada knew they weren't going to be able to sell it worldwide.

I did it because I was asked to do it by the Hillsborough families. I didn't use Hillsborough in any way. I would never do that. This sounds coarse and vulgar and conceited but Hillsborough needed me then; I didn't need Hillsborough. That's the truth. I'm glad I did it because I have made so many good friends who have been through hell.

There was total commitment from everyone during the shoot and that was the first time I had ever experienced anything like that. We were up against teams of lawyers saying you can't say this and you can't say that. I would write the most simple speech twelve times just to satisfy the lawyer. That's the way we made that film.

It was very well received. I had a few rows with a fanzine but I take my hat off to them because they gave me great plaudits. It's not easy to impress a fanzine but they were very kind and generous with their comments.

We expected 'Hillsborough' to have an impact but it went on to win BAFTAs. It was embarrassing because I was putting on my dickie-bow for the award shows while the families were still grieving for their dead.

Hillsborough changed the way I work. I will not work that way again. If people ask me to tell their stories then I will find a more empowering way of doing it. At the time I didn't know that and neither did the families, they just wanted their story to be told.